smile .

finally got home, i missed my piano

2010-03-12T23:58:00.000+08:00

f you ask me,' is the camp fun?', i've no idea how to reply. Seriously, when i heard that we are going to Kota Tinggi, i was looking forward to this camp. But sad to say, when we reached there, given all those surroundings and conditions, WE'VE REGRETTED!

Day one, we were ordered to hike at Pelepah Waterfalls. It was about 1.5 hours walking. We were so tired and think that the camp is gonna be sucky. Moreover, it was the first day. We cannot conclude that the entire camp is boring. Before we went on, we need to bring up tents, cooking stuffs for dinner and loaves of bread with jam & kaya for breakfast. Our class split the work like how division of labour works. During the whole journey to the summit, some walk adagio and some walk allegro. Starting the some say why walk so slow and act macho. Then after 30 minutes, they were asking if we are reaching and asked us to go diminuendo LOL. It was real tired we had some water breaks and determination cheer us on. Hmmm, the weather was warm. Guess what, we cannot get to shower; we get water from the waterfall. Yeap, i drank it if not i wouldn't be here(: We had maggie mee with red beans and cocktail. When the night falls in, we could see stars on the sky shinning brightly. In Singapore, we can't get to see so many stars because Singapore is too bright. The first night i'm not able to sleep well enough. The next day when i woke up and had a backache. Pathetic me.

Day two, the instructors asked us to wake up early because we need trek back. Everyone was so restless and had breakfast. Probably everyone did not sleep well. Along the way back, the guys cheered as if they had drank 100plus that give them so much energy. I was quite surprised that they went 'high'. However good for everyone, we motivate one another. CHALLENGE ROPE COURSE! Having low element and high element. That one was damn scary i don't dare to go for the high one but instead the low element. The whole thing shaking sia. At night is Night Confidence Walk. I'm with JM, E & S. The lights went off and we don't get to use torch-lights. Instructions given was to watch out for the blue light-sticks. Somemore, we are walking into the forest. oh my, so scary.

Day three, PAINTBALL! SHOPPING! VEGATABLE FARM VISIT! CAMP FIRE!
The Paintball was damn nice. It's a 4 versus 4 game. My group have ZJ, JH, JM and myself. The another opponent is Mr Zhuo, S, E and C. Damn cool and exciting. I shot Mr Zhuo and my group, 3 member were shot too. So it ended up with a 1 versus 3. And i'm that 1. Actually i'm blind shooting. After everyone had playedthat game, we have decided to organise a class outing to play Paintball. I'm looking forward to it. But seriously if you kanna shot, you might have some serious injuries and minor ones like blue-black.
Then we had our lunch and went on our activities. At the farm visit is the one when JM & i go siao siao siao(: i'm went so crazy like retarded. Actually it was quite boring la but BO.BIAN heehee. The camp fire was not bad. Every class get to perform there skit and cheer on different countries. For my class it is Thailand. My class boys went to put fake boos and wigs. I think our class is the highlight of the day. Joking xD I admire their bravery. Ya, even though the audience were laughing and making fun of them but actually they were thinking that the boys had the courage to do it. Three cheers and three cheers and three cheers for e3 boys! Anyway, my class got the best in class spirit and the best in skit. Congrats and all credit to the guys. Welldone!(:

Day four, like so FINALLY can go back to Singapore. We had activities like Amazing race- very tiring. The class was like running here and there to look for the station. Some of the students still can buy ice-cream for themselves. I'm so jealous. And next Flying fox ride. Very scary but fun, shiok!

Upload pictures soon(: Stay tune

9-12 March out of Singapore

2010-03-04T23:03:00.001+08:00

hey people, got back the results of Common Test 1 except for A. Math. I think i'm getting that tomorrow. I think i will fail. Not because i'm lacking of confidence but i know appromixmately how much i would have got. This year i choose success being top for E. Math, Physics and POA. But strictly speaking, so what? Yeap, it's a good start. However because my grades are good it's not going to be motive for me. I can't give up. Provided that i'm trying my best and working hard for every test, i'm afraid i will back out and it's gonna be another drastic change. I don't want that to happen to me. Because of my 'tired' and 'tried' i give up. Is that what i want? Striving for everything and give up? Guess what, i'm so disappointed with myself. I should have done alot better for other subjects.
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For those who are concern about my piano Practical Test:
Today's test is cancelled. Due to some noise and all that 'disturbed' the class, i'm not able to play. Therefore, it's postponed to Term 2 Week 1(Thursday). And got back my Word Stress Test and Aural Test. I only remember i got 22 out of 30 for Word Stress. For another one i can't remember because i failed. Never mind, i'll work hard again. It's not difficult, i need more practice. It's just like Maths.

About the Secondary 3 camp, well seriously, i'm not excited leyy. Get me be excited. It's from 9-12 March miss me(:

Tomorrow going to another concert. It's a Singapore Symphony Orchestra- Schumann Symphony Spectacular Notes of the Triumph. A Symphony has four movements. It could be either a Programme Music or Absolute Music. The conert overture only has one-movement programme piece for orchestra. An example piece will be heard tomorrow includes Mendelssohn's sea-picture, The Hebrides. That's all (:

17th position(:

2010-02-27T21:32:00.017+08:00

Yesterday, my school had Jogathon. And DQ passed me Fisherman's candy because i've got sore throat. How sweet of you. :) I thought he was joking with me, little did i expect him to give me. And hey, we are classmates only, don't mistaken. Our class got second for the class thingy. And we have some top 30 runners from our class. Even though it was tiring, when we finished the race, we get to drink 100plus! Guess what, after i went home, i start to have coughing and sneezing. Later part, i'm having slight fever. How i wished that i'm able to go to school.

-
This is what WH do during Music Lessons! Olivia and i laughed like hell until classmates looked at us as if we are trying to get attention from them. Seriously i can't believe that this is he's masterpiece.

This year i choose success

2010-02-19T22:18:00.003+08:00

hey people!

After long long time then post again. ARGHH so tired. Rushing for here and there. Common test start from today and next week till Thursday. LIKE SO STRESS. Then next Thursday also have common test for O Level Music(OMus) after that following week(4th March), having Pratical exam. And the following day, going for a concert at Esplande till 10pm++.

Today's A Math test was like hell. I've been doing Ms Lim's paper which i feel comfortable with and scored 8/10 for the first test and 7/10 for the second test. For today's it is out of 30; Ms Khong's paper. Oh, god! If i'm not wrong, there are 5 questions and the last question is on inverse matrics and simultaneous equation. And next, i stared at the paper. But i have high confidence for two of those questions. Both of them total up and it will be seven marks. The rest, like don't even know how to do. Totally blank; half way thru' the paper, i gave up. Serious, gave up. Anyway, like what they say, it's okay to fail A Math for the first term. Even though they don't mind about how they had done. But i do mind. *sigh* it's over already will see how after got back the result. This weekend i'm preparing for those 'need memorise' subject. Arghh, no idea if i could squeeze time for practice piano & interval.

GO AWAY!

2010-02-06T18:21:00.001+08:00

go awayWHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I SERIOUSLY HATE YOU
-
Last week had a lot of topical test and all. Though it was stress, i still manage to handle. Yesterday got back A Math paper. I got shocked when i obtain the highest in class. Well, i don't have any tutor or tuition. I'm having one lesson per week. While others have 3 lesson per week. Yup, it's a private subject. Serious. I did all with practices. I hope i could maintain that standard till next year's O Level. I will try my very best and at least, my efforts aren't paid off. I'm happy with what i've got. Now, i'm really going into it and will not bother about THOSE 'THINGS' happening around the surroundings. Since, you did this to me, i WILL make you you will get it from me. This is not the first time. I had give you enough chances and time for you. You forced me to do this.

i hate you to leave me alone without telling me

2010-01-13T22:34:00.000+08:00

woah. I finally can squeeze sometime to surf the internet. I was so busy - everyday was being booked. And now that i don't even have the time to practice my Piano. Fortuately, homeworks are still managable(: I had went for OMus lesson already last week, Thursday was the first lesson. So, the teacher was introducing to us about the component tested when O Level. Then O, WH and I were like: Oh my, feel like dropping. But then, we decided and make a deal that we'll try till MYE((: If results are still okay, then we will go on. However the problem now is - the TB are SUPER EXPENSIVE. No choice, this's a expensive course. Two TB alone had cost me ninety over dollars. Plus, i think every month, students are required to attend compulsory concerts. Those concert ain't free or cheap. Another problem is i'm taking private A Math. Thus, it's kinda self-studying subject. It's not going to be easy but with all the supports from my family, friends and teachers. I can do it :D I'm attempting my very best to get into JC, hopefully. But. It's just not going to be dificult. I tell myself that this year isgonna be a tough year.

Let's motivate each and everyone(:

2010-01-01T22:06:00.001+08:00

woah, in a twinkle of an eye. It kinda school reopens(:
I was hoping if i cound still have the chance to online and getting hooked on FB. Maybe no? Perhaps it's time for me to make more time for you ><
-
Bring whatever i wanted to bring along for 2010 and leave those that i don't want. Having the last smile, laughter i had with them..

Make 2010 your year:
1. Get on top of my academics
2. Spend more time with family and friends
3. Get fit
4. Lose weight
5. Learn something
6. I want to help people
7. I want to get organise
8. Last long (x
9. Make new friends
10. Grow taller! (:

Wish all have a successful and enjoyable year. it would be a great year ahead.

Merry X'mas!

2009-12-26T19:39:00.000+08:00

Times flies. Soon school reopens. Must bring study mind to school while holiday mood must be kept in pocket le. Muhahaha((: I was so busy till now then have the time to post. LOL. Last week, when i was reading the newspaper, i saw this:

We, the passengers of MRT
Poise ourselves as one united kiasu
Regardless of pregnant women, elderly and little children
To chiong in when the doors open
So as to achieve seats to sleep and rest

Singapore MRT Pledge

And this shows how we are as a singaporean.
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Specially thanks to those who gave me christmas gifts. Merry christmas and happy new year(:

i'm tolerating , man

2009-12-17T22:17:00.000+08:00

haha, JM & JH

***

I like that previous two CCA lessons i had on tuesday and wednesday. In addition, it's a whole day practice schedule. We had around one, half an hour at PP and window shopping. Holiday so boring but i actually discovered that i really had a lot of things to be done. I'd just done with 'spring cleaning' of my room and my desk. And that table really had that feeling for studying. Looking forward 2010(:

messed up

2009-12-11T21:56:00.000+08:00

I used to show how emo i was. By showing that sucky attitude i have & my wrist. I had been very proud because i was actually doing something that were out of the handle. Now, thinking back, makes me feel stupid, foolish, retarded and all. Why did i looked so stupid? Just to get that attention of that imbecile guy?
-

Met that two guy + XJ near my house's basketball court.

woah, be honoured, your name is big on my headlines :p

2009-12-04T20:22:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Vivian!

I don't care, i'm going to apply A Math for self-studying one since the appeal doesn't work out. If MYE, i'm going to fail A Math, i will then drop that subject. I'm just so stubborn, that's me((: But in order for me to score well, i make sure that i'm able to cope with and maintain my discipline well

Why can't i just get hooked on things? Stupid!

2009-12-03T21:43:00.000+08:00

In life, there's always people who gives us more misery. Let us forget. We must really forget. And NEVER hold back what you want to say to someone because you'll NEVER know when they are going M.I.A

Trust + Fear

2009-12-02T21:40:00.000+08:00

That was from Cherlyn. A long loving relationship needs trust. Faith. And a little bit of fantasy. And sometimes self sacrifice. Even if you choose not to say i love you, he can still feel it.

When we were young we tend to do things and would not be afraid of this and that. We were heavenly pure and naive. However when we grow older, we would be feeling afraid. This is because fear invaded our lives. And when fear extends greed would come in. For instance, i'm afraid i don't look good (this is fear). I want to look nice (this is greed). Be contended with what you have:) and dare to make promises without fear

being strong and trying to let go

2009-11-30T18:58:00.000+08:00

I've skimmed thru' the past posts and I acknowledge all my faults, i acknowledged what i've been doing wrong. And there wasn't a conclusion ,it's stucked. It's right at that point saying trying to let go. But then , you know, it's not going to be easy but you just have to do with it.

Suddenly i think that life is so vulnerable. You see, things changed, friends leave, but life doesnt stop for anybody. there's this phrase LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE. In order to laugh/love, you need a life to do so.Wondering why are people so foolish to commit suicide just because of stress or cause of one mistake, many others who died of sickness, doesnt wish to end their life so early, but yet why does those healthy and normal person wants to end their life earlier? Life is precious, you are only given 1 life, we're not cats, cats has nine lives, while we only have one, 1 PRECIOUS life, once gone, never will it be back again.You've got to learn to accept the good and bad, ups and downs that happens in life, by then you'll know how to cherish life. So, you've got to take the good with the bad, the smile with the sad, love what you have got, and remember always what you had. Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from mistakes but never regret. Live the life you wanted it to be, and not to be control or boss around by others. Be the person you truly wants to be remember as, make decisions, make mistakes. If you fail, at least you tried. Some people commited suicide because of love, but is that worth ?Love is just a fantasy for most, but its true meaning runs deeper than emotions. So never make somebody your everything 'cause when they're gone you've got nothing left. You don't have to resort to committing suicide, you may turn the despair of being alone into the wonder of being alone with god because god is mightly :)

I remembered this was from Shermaine
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By the way, the appeal failed. So , no comment

live , love and learn

2009-11-25T17:30:00.001+08:00

Yesterday went for class outing to Vivo City to watch 2012. Together with Jia Hui, Chi Yu, Joanne, Shermaine, Venusa, Wey Han, De Quan, Sanjay, Zheng Jie, Derrick, and myself. Then MRT-ed to Vivo :) Managed to catch the show @ 3.25pm. There's one part where they wanted to start the car engine but to no avail. And everyone in the car was so disappointed and they created alot of complains. Then a guy shouted, 'SHUT UP' and pause for a while, 'Start. Engine,' he continued and everybody in the cinema was clapping. And another part whereby a woman points middle finger to another bad guy and everybody was laughing. LOL. After the show ends, the guys was saying that that was a great movie and not long after, Sanjay discovered that he had lost his wallet. Initially he wanted to run back to the hall but lucky him, Chi Yu, Shermaine, Joanne and Venusa found it and return to him. At first they wanted to lie to him that someone taken away. Bad-dy them ;x Then home.

That movie was REAL awesome; damn nice! Initially was indeed boring and then after that the climax went exciting. If really, 21 December 2012 g'nna be the end of the world, it would be very soon. Now is 2009 and after a month's time++ is 2010. If it's really ending, i would either treasure every single thing/day/hour/minute that happened to me or die now. Really, you have to cherish. Out of 100 billions of humans living in this Earth is dying and only some would have the opportunity to live. After watching that show, it inspires me to live everyday as if i'm dying tomorrow. But everyone is like so worry and keep on gossiping about things that are untrue. Just shut up and don't say any other news that make the whole thing worst and it won't just end like that.
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Great, my younger sister went for Guzheng competition @ Malaysia-Genting from Sunday till Thursday. And got back the selection of school going for GCE 'O' Level Music Course. So well, i'm going to Ang Mo Kio Secondary School on every Thursday with Olivia, Wey Han and Caleb; i suppose?

health-bashing habits like smoking and drinking

2009-11-23T16:10:00.000+08:00

Comparisons
Parents always compare their children with other children. When we refuse to compare ourselves with others, we become more content and appreciative of what we have. When we compare, we become less. And in the process, we feel more inferior. The result is the feeling that we will never be good enough. How can we develop a healthy and positive mind?
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In life, there's alway someone who gives us more misery and make our live difficult

just being random :)

2009-11-19T21:51:00.001+08:00

The paper for holding the tobacco allow ventilation of the burning and containing materials that control the burning rate of the cigarette and stability of the production of ash . The papers used in the cigarette (forming the mouthpiece) and surrounding the filter stabilise the mouthpiece from saliva and moderate the burning of the cigarette as well as the delivery of smoke with the presence of one or two rows of small laser-drilled air holes . Cigarette paper has been specially created for "fire-safe" cigarettes . These cigarettes have a reduced burning speed which allows them to self-extinguish . There's a law which prohibits the possession or use of tobacco products by all persons under 18 , punishable by a $100 fine.

But SOME still chooses to do it for whatever reasons. Mens tend to smoke more than women . What is the reason ? To release stress or peer pressure?

Nicotine , is the basic chemical in cigarettes . It is addictive. On average , each cigarette smoked shortens lifespan by 11 minutes & smokers who die of tobacco-related disease lose on average, 14 years of life . Why do they STILL decide to smoke despite all reminders ? Why is that after they had suffer and they start to regret ? I really don't understand . Help me solve

combination!

2009-11-18T11:27:00.001+08:00

LOL , i don't want the subject combination i had ):
I want AMath don't want D&T
I'm so going to appeal later , when going to CCA
But the probability will be quite low, alot of people appeaing for e2
-sigh-

helpless , hopeless; why can't i even help a bit?

2009-11-17T22:12:00.002+08:00

I'm so tired till the stage of wanna give up LOL
I'm can't even stop you from getting rid of that habit .
I've already tried my best
sigh , i don't want nag like aunties you know ?
STUPID me^^
I'm such a failure ):
I wanna be AS ADDICTED AS you are , but i can't , T_T

2009-11-16T15:12:00.000+08:00

don't worry much okay ? We're on the same boat :))
LOL , okay nowadays a little bit busy .
Tomorrow & the following day gonna return to school for CCA again
Later at night gonna have piano lesson as well as on friday
TIRED !

Anyway ,looking forward on 18 novemeber 2009 :))

friday ,the thirteen

2009-11-13T20:42:00.003+08:00

I'm feeling so
MISERABLE MISERABLE MISERABLE
MISERABLE MISERABLE MISERABLE
MISERABLE MISERABLE MISERABLE
MISERABLE MISERABLE MISERABLE
why am i even doubting you ?
-
i don't want cyber relationship :((
don't want , Don't Want , DON'T WANT

yesterday & today

2009-11-12T21:09:00.000+08:00

I'm tired . Now and then , every week gonna return to school for CCA .
-
MISERABLE !

Happy Birthday to Mei Cheng , Ying Xue , Tian Ning , Jun Ji & Genewaye :))

2009-11-10T18:05:00.002+08:00

alamak , so boring !
-
eh , your parents didn't teach you how to say 'thank you' is it ?
what the fcuk
forget it.

Class Chalet '09

2009-11-09T16:49:00.002+08:00

snowing :D

monster invading our chalet ! :D

Wey Han trying to show off his pants

That day was a real fun ! :DD

Allure

2009-11-06T15:19:00.000+08:00

He's faithful to me but i can't bear to distrust him a little bit ;x
Frankly speaking , i think he's more stress compared to me . I shalln't make him worry :)
darn , i miss him like crap <3

04 11 09 Class Chalet !

2009-11-05T11:55:00.004+08:00

Sometimes i think since you are aware that i'm 'attractive' but so what ? After that incident two years ago , I've learnt to cherish you . But how about you ? So ,have you learnt to cherish ? It's not the problem whereby i don't trust you . It's just that i don't have that sense of security that you gave me before . I don't give a danm on what other people comment on us . The problem lies in how we look at the relationship..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yesterday was fun ! The first thing we reach the chalet house , me & Jing Wen smart smart went to the beach to enjoy the cool breeze and looking at those waves :)) after that the guys came too :D Sanjay rebond his hair because of Dawna . Heehee :)) Then when it's almost time to check in we went back to the house and waited for Shermaine they all . LOLS , they dyed their hairs . SO COOL ! Once the door is opened , Jing Wen , Jia Hui and I loaded our bags and went for Wild Wild Wet ! On the way there saw Avere and asked her to join us . I really had fun there . I could screan all i want , my feelings and emotions were left there and i wouldn't want them back again :] When time's up , we went back and start BBQ ! The guys were helping with the fire and the rest were either waiting for food or playing there games . Haha , so cute of them . Typical 2e4 students :DD Minutes passed by and here comes Ms Tan and Wey Han asked everyone to greet her and here's we go ,' Good afternoon Khia Yee '. So sweeet i thought :) then blah blah and Ms Tan were helping wit the otah while Wey Han & De Quan with the marshmellow . Half of them were full and they were sitting in front of the television watching Channel U & Channel 8's program . Some of the guys were upstairs playing PSP and i don't see how fun is that . Ms Lee arrived with her nephew and blah blah again and it's time for class photo taking . All the boys were cheating , they stood up on the stools and chairs and made the girls looked so short . The only extra is king kong , we were taking photos and he was sitting there on the table . Act cool huh ? Haha . After photo taking Ms Tan brought Jing Wen, Cherlyn and I home . Anyways , i don't like yesterday's weather ..

Photos will be posted another time . Stay tune C:

CLASS CHALET !

2009-11-03T11:12:00.000+08:00

I had just submitted my choices for the subject combination thing . Oh ,i've regretted sending that stupid offline message . And about the class chalet , Ms Lee & Ms Tan will be coming . They sponsored otah & satay . LOL , later we are going to buy the stuff for tomorrow . I don't think so that i'm going together with them . I'm just collecting money and pass them the shopping list . I wonder how are they going to carry all those back home and bring it back to the chalet . Looking forward to class chalet ! I hope it gonna be a memorable one because that might be the last class chalet we had . Then the following ones will be class outing i suppose ? Holidays are damn boring . Looking for new piano scores and gonna learn them to 'erase' the boredom

Don't disappear again

2009-11-02T15:42:00.002+08:00

First day of the holiday , seems bored to me . The boredom is really here ! When would it go away ? Anyway , what's wrong with her ?! I seriously don't like her tone .

2009-10-30T21:21:00.002+08:00

Hotel for dogs is just so COOL !
During HP , collected result slips then after that area cleaning .
That's the last thing we contribute as a class .
-sigh-
Everything had changed . Even myself
Went to Nicholas's BBQ Party .
And found out that Derrick , Jia Hui & i were the first to reach there
Boredom has come !
-

She's treating me REAL well . I'm not sure why am i doing this to her .

That's right , I'm picky . So what's YOUR problem ?

2009-10-29T19:03:00.002+08:00

Gotten back result slips . Wasn't really satisfied with my results , initially i wanted at least a 60% for my overall percentage . And i've got only a A1 , zero A2 , single B3 and the rest sucks . I failed one subject - Literature . I knew it because i jolly well aware that i didn't did my best for those papers . I should have done my best but i didn't . Instead i was affected by some problems surrounding me . I'm taking seven subjects plus my Music and that would be 8 subjects in total . I'm afraid i can't cope you know ? Okay , the extras one are Additional Mathematics , POA . For combined humanities will be SS & Geog while combined science will be Physics & Chemistry . After choosing of subjects and combinations that we want , the 'worst' has to come . Tomorrow will be the last day where 2E4 is being together as a class in school . And after Term four holidays , we will be going to so-called separate . I'll miss them !! I can't bear to leave that class as it's REALLY amazing . However , not to worry , we still can meet up !! :)) I've inspiration from that group of classmates , advices , teamwork and all these has been together for two years . Even though i might not understand each other really well but all i could say is 'All the best for your future endeavours' . Everything has come to an end for this year . No point saying 'aiya , i should have studied these and that in order to take this and that combination i want' . If seriously , you wanted what you want , you should have tried your really best , to aim . After reading this you might say ,'If i can say that , why ain't my results that good?' And i might answer to you, 'cause i don't bother .

Anyway , so what you've got the best . You are NOT the best actually , Jing Wen is . I dc how much you wanted for #1 . Just to tell you , you will NEVER make it . I've told you before about your learning skills . You choose not to listen and THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM ! I don't even know how you are to cope with your Sec 3 work . Go ahead and choose what you want . I'll squeeze lemons to YOUR LIFE because I DON'T WISH TO BE THE SAME CLASS AS YOU .
I hate you to the max. . Remember: i'm not going to let you off ! You better watch out

I'm sad

2009-10-28T17:54:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow getting back result slip . Will die de leh ! -sigh sigh sigh-
Pathetic ! Dk how , everything is ruined .
Anyway , i'm going to Nicholas BBQ Party on Friday . After the party , i'm going to meet Xun Jian and his friend(s) . Together with Jia Hui , Derrick & Kuan Wee(maybe) , to play basketball :))
Anyway again, no mood , i'm losin' confidence between us . Why ain't you online AGAIN ?
Sad , i'm really missin' you ):

I have learnt to cherish you

2009-10-27T15:27:00.001+08:00

His presence brings a postive energy to me . I really cherish & enjoys every moment we spent together . I believe your love don't do anything hurt me . If there i something , why do you even start the whole thing ? I believe we have given our best in our relationship to be perfect .

This takes up sometime to look . It's a damn sad love story . The ending is kinda like Romeo & Juliet . Tragedy :(

Tomorrow no school ! yay^^

2009-10-26T15:48:00.001+08:00

i wanted to abuse my body with something
he said he misses me ^^
-
What a bore ! All i knew was to slack during lesson . Today we had career experience . I'm in Graphic Design . Even though the instructor is funny , the lesson carried out seemed bored to me . Seriously , i didn't learn anything . A few of us were just talking , talking about him ^^ Later recess for 45 minutes and Shu Wen managed to get something for us to 'erase' the boredom .

EDITED ! :D

2009-10-23T17:26:00.007+08:00

okay , i've got this from Cherlyn . SO kind of her , i know i sound a bit 'FAKE' . 'Cause it's realy fake . Haha , can't let her see this post :D
Anyway , just now i complain :) to him , then he cheer me up . Then he become my counsellor :DDDDDDDDDD. Nurliz said i'm lucky and found out it's true (:

I'm feeling much better . No worries :))

First Month !

2009-10-22T18:47:00.001+08:00

Today assembly at Parade Square . Repeated singing National Anthem for like dk what . I think is because we like not respecting the anthem like that . No idea what's wrong with the teachers today . After that , went back classroom to check papers . People starts to think about the 'together' is fake . So sad :(

First was Math Paper , i was worried 'cause i'm afraid i'm unable to take A maths . Who knows , it's a damn shocking thing to hear that i topped Paper 2 & overall for Math paper: 90 . It has been a long time since i've gotten that '9' tens digit . I thought i was dreaming and ask Ms Tan if i have the REAL score . But anyways , i'm damn SATISFIED :) However , that's for the starting . When recess is over , we check for Literature , D & T and History . As i've said before Literature and History is those i've no confidence for . Yeap , i've failed those two - border line ): I'm sad but yet i'm smilin' :DDD Haha , tomorrow checking MT , Science & EL .
P.S. LOLS , so many people said last long & happy 1st month to me . I went too 'high' in school & thought i was insane !

At home , talk to he's primary school best friend . SO cool , today then found out & he was asking for his msn & ALL ! HAHA . He suddenly exclaimed that Edwin is the luckiest man in the world . Then i replied , 'i also feel that i'm the luckiest woman in the world' . SO RANDOM ! Then talk about the girl that he (the best friend) used to love ..

SWEET + SUGAR !

2009-10-21T17:59:00.002+08:00

The best couple in the WHOLE UNIVERSE !
At that 5 minutes , we cherish every single seconds we had for each other .
You people will never know how much DEEP we love each other
Hmm, maybe about ont going to Cherlyn's birthday celebration is a good one :X

Tomorrow is the first day going back to school since after exams .
Having no idea which papers will we be checking
I have LOW LOW LOW confidence for MT , HISTORY , SCIENCE , LITERATURE & ART
That's alot .
If i pass them, it would be whoa thank god
If i fail them , there's nothing special & automatically drop to NA
HAHA^^ i would be glad to !

Unlike him , he passed except one . Overall: 64%
His maths also got an B ! Good for him :)))))
88th position . EXCELLENT !
&& he said he would be coming over !! Lookin' forward :DDD

You Can Shine

2009-10-21T14:11:00.001+08:00

Trying to share this video . It'a a meaningful one . Switch off the blog music that is playing at the right side .
-------------------
Friends from other schools said that holiday is a 'so good' but i don't think so . It's a BOREDOM ! Therefore , i've been finding some inspiration story to share on Sunday :))))

1000 words

2009-10-20T12:14:00.006+08:00

It's a finally but i have no idea how long would it last
Countin' the days that pass me by . One thing that i tried to hold on . I can't live a day without you . I think i'm really fallin' for his smile . He's got something special . Everywhere i go he's always on my mind and i'm going crazy about him lately . And i can't help myself from how my heart is racing . Can you feel my affection towards him?

dying & struggling deep in you

2009-10-18T08:20:00.000+08:00

I'm trying to be 'active' , to be able to get your attention on me
i.cant.stand.it.anymore.talk.to.me.
just.by.the.thoughts.of.you.would.drive.me.crazy.
Do you know how important you are to me ? I have things that are unable to finish to tell you . I have no idea how to describe how much i love you . You are now part of me . I'm desiring for your concern . WHEN will i be able to hear those again ? I will be missing your voice and you're gonna miss mine too . I know . I'm getting sick & tried of everyone around me . Even though much communication is good but too much is just too much . I'm starting to hate people in my class , people in other classes and even people who 'blocked' my way . I feel like getting rid of those in front of me . Even my own best friend , I can't believe that i hate her that much that i wanted to stab her with a knife . I don't mind being a murder . I've no idea why i wanted my life to be like this . To you people , you might be think that i'm doing fine . Actually i'm not . You might even say i'm acting here . However you know what ? I DON"T GIVE A DAMN . I've just have those thoughts in me . I know she hadn't done anything wrong . But i just feel like doing it . It irks me when i see her face . I don't know what gave me such a courage to say that . I just did . I'm now full with revenge & hateful . Don't try me

THE DAYS FEEL YEARS WHEN I'M ALONE

2009-10-16T16:05:00.002+08:00

~~double date~~
A LOT of things has been happening for the past few weeks.. I'm still waiting , I'm afraid this love would disappear like a dream. Let's make it LAST ! There's a number of times when i got up the knife & the first thing that strike my mind ,is you , the way you ask me not to. And that made me put down the knife again . First i wanted you to know that you are amazing and i love you to death . But i think that you are forcing yourself to be with me . I've been wanting his concern & words again . I'm worried & tired about all those nonsense . What have been happening ? I'm surrounded by so damn many things.. Don't worry people , i won't do silly things:) I suppose he has his own reason(s) to these.

Exams are now officially OVER ! I'm free from those adcamics stress , but the results would be a 'sigh'. Oh ya , i've went in to the Music GCE 'O' Level . I've chosen schools like: St. Hilda's , Ang Mo Kio & CHIJ ST. Nicholas Secondary . How i wish that i'm able to cope with all these :D

iloveyou(((:

2009-10-09T21:21:00.002+08:00

Studying hard :))
Will reply all tags after i come back

it's true!

2009-10-02T14:31:00.001+08:00

There's nothing wrong with me today . I cried not because of any other things . But it's true that i'm moved because of Ying Xue's compo :))

Those tests that i've got back within these few days .. results were either a JUST PASS or FAIL . If i'm going to continue like that , i won't get what i want & i won't get to celebrate with my friends . Someone , please motivate me to study !

I'm worried !

2009-10-01T20:25:00.022+08:00

This gonna be a short one..
I'm wondering if he is as committed as i am
you said forever , was that a promise ?

It has been for 5 days . Wondering what was happening . Nothing . No messages , no sms , no phone-calling , no msn . I take it that we are busy or preparing for EOY that makes us didn't communicate . Don't make me feel sad & worried . Please . I'm afraid that we would lost contact again . Let's hope would still be by my side . Don't leave me again . Hoping for the better

Wouldn't it be nice if there's an expressroad/way between Jurong & Sengkang ?

PS. Say "Don't worry" to me again . I need that(:

They said last long :))))))))

2009-09-25T15:41:00.000+08:00

Today's class during art lesson was damn high .
Have Math Formula Test ; English Time Practice & Science Class Test
These gonna be a warning for EOY

Study hard !

2009-09-24T20:59:00.005+08:00

I'm losing the confidence we had together . It has been for 2 years & now i'm trying to get a stable . i'M SERIOUSLY worried
Then i called him & talked to him about my life in school & all . I can feel stressness that's piling up on me . But after the talkings , i feel more better & relief . Thank you love

PS. I love the feeling - the concern & care he gave me. Could it be forever ?

The Sun is Up & The Stars Are Gone..

2009-09-23T22:08:00.002+08:00

Today in school was DAMN HIGH ! All because of him la , & made me think of him all the time . Hopefully won't affect my studies ? I think he's trying his best & i'm trying mine . Everyone was so excited about the 'founding' and all congratulated me. That's it , enough of him :p
i wanted to ask him alot of questions but if i do so , he would feel that i don't trust him and then it would weaken our relationship . I don't want to have that misconception . I'm going to cherish what i have now

i wanted to ask him alot of questions but if i do so , he would feel that i don't trust him and then it would weaken our relationship . I don't want to have that misconception . I'm going to cherish what i have now

Those years , i've no idea how to describe .
Sometime when i thought of it , really regretted
And now , our 2 days as if we were for 2 years :)
Seriously hope his also 'insane' at the other side .

Fate , that brought us together again..

He's back , he's really back

2009-09-22T17:35:00.005+08:00

I've asked him something & i've regretted because i've got no reply .
Found out about why he did not contact the rest of us .
Hopefully , he's life now is much more stable
-----
He's as sweet as he is in the past .
He sound like he doesn't like school
22 September 2009 19:45
Looking forward to each day now

It has been for more than 2 years...

2009-09-18T22:23:00.001+08:00

Today in Art Class we were talking about E
Went home & on computer for updating classblog saw something really shocking
Facebook , plurk:
E
That's what i've longed for , for YEARS
Have to confirm before i could say anything

I'm really really surprise and ALL

MIA-ing soon...

2009-09-17T23:11:00.002+08:00

Was busy with this week . Had no time to write rubbish . Will be off due to E.O.Y exams , really need to work hard & buck up . Remove all my bad habits so that i'll succeed :) Then make myself proud & all . All the best to everyone , 21 more days :))

all about statistically

2009-09-14T19:50:00.001+08:00

First day of the term *sigh*
decided to concentrate now . I hope it's not too late for me but anyway just got to buck up . Everyday's lesson was distracted by the surroundings and i'm floating around . However today's different . Perhaps it is because of the countdown to EOY thingy that is written on the whiteboard that made me come back to the lesson . In my opinion , what Mr Yeo had said was a motivation for each and everyone . Although we are the last class , so what ? ; A well-behaved class but we also study hard , i suppose ? Make them proud .

Sorry Ying Xue & Cherlyn

2009-09-12T10:45:00.006+08:00

Haven't complete holiday homeworks . Owe Mr Keh literature scrapbook & have not even started anything . I really hope that i could complete those homeworks in time. Yesterday night was like so easily irritate . Like for what lor. Luckily , got help from Ms Tan otherwise , things will get worse..

Feel like stopping everything i'm a little exhausted

2009-09-11T13:27:00.001+08:00

那得起就要懂得放下。
This is what Avere advice to me. If not the world , will go for an eye for an eye; tooth for a tooth & ended up with eye-less & toothless . Then the whole thing will repeat again like revenge

Friendship & relationship shouldn't be mixed together. Should they ?

2009-09-10T23:53:00.000+08:00

made a promise w my primary school friend

Unexpected News

2009-09-09T20:16:00.001+08:00

[09.09.09]

Heard that Zhen Yu has started doing the History project ; Wondering , so guai ? Unlike him . Then i called him and asked whether there's anything we could help him , Then he replied , only th decorations . OMG , so shock , he actually did the almost the whole thing wor . zzz

today's orchestra was the death , after playing 一步一步来。 Then next was Mega 2004 - this song , CMI lor , i felt so humiliate because Mr Lim was keep on pointing at my mistakes . But anyways , today; learnt alot

Looking forward to tomorrow's Math Lesson !

Wanting to Take A Long Rest & Should Never Be Awake

2009-09-07T19:58:00.002+08:00

Today was okay . Replied Ms Tan's chat & eager to pass to her on Wednesday ! If i didn't remember it wrongly , tomorrow ou xiang's going for resevist *sigh* i think he's going for around 3 weeks . Wonders which english teacher will take over his lesson.

Holidays were bored , i'm rotting at home . I don't feel like going out anyways, isn't a need to ask me out as i would reject it :] Also , don't feel like doing any works :D Was just talking to myself (: and that was when i felt blue and led myself to go thru' the little cards & letters that were given to me when i'm sad , needs care & concern , together with everything . Those words & sentences cheered me up , really , they did

Yearn for 'A's for my report book when end-of-year results are out

2009-09-05T21:53:00.001+08:00

I'm really tired till want to sleep . I wanna have a break , & this september holiday was just nice for me to self-questioning . Seriously tired . Holidays: Found out that i've been sleeping for more than 12 hours and when i woke up , i cried , why ? What the waste time to sleep for what ? I could have done my homeworks

Game Over. No wins or loses

2009-09-04T14:18:00.004+08:00

It's good to have it over because i would have lesser trouble . I wouldn't be thinking that I need to do this and do that . In fact , in the first place, i shouldn't agreed with it . I'm just giving him hope . But anyway , it was all over . I really hope that he's not sad . His inside is not = to outside

School was fine today . Wanted to write the letter to him & consulted Mr Wang & Ms Tan.

Holiday starts from tomorrow . And the teachers left us with huge amount of homeworks . I have no idea how to complete them because i still owe Ms Tan & Mr Keh & my chinese teacher homeworks . Also need go back to school for CCAs and extra lessons & maybe helping Ms Lee to slot the result slips into each of ours report book . I really wanted to buck up during the school holidays . I'm not going to do silly things & things that aren't necessary . I wanted my As , they are waiting for me . I will pull up my socks and try my very best because i know next term gotta be a busy term for everyone .

End with ,

Happy Holidays !

Oral v. weird

2009-09-03T21:24:00.002+08:00

Was touched by Miss Tan today
& today was a busy day for me , look for Miss Tan, Mr Keh & Mr Wang
& people were saying that i went emo
LOLS ! They all v. lame but at least , i know they care for me :D
Seriously , i have not even started reading History & Literature. I have no idea HOW to pass those tests. Both are included in the percentage & whatever .

Have to push myself really hard after today , the result slip. I'm really worried about my grades next term . I keep on saying that i would buck up but i didn't have any actions . That doesn't help AT ALL ! 7 tests , yet i've passed 3 of them . The fail ones were all 40 & below . The pass ones were 60 & above. So cute lor

Yesterday YX told me that 'Doctor Tan' was jealous that i've stead . I'm wondering whether it's true . Then today morning people were talking about that . I SERIOUSLY can't believe what i've heard ! He , himself got his stead &... ???

S.O.S

2009-09-02T19:57:00.003+08:00

I can't handle these confusion. I feel like am all alone.
I need you guys more than you people think i need
I'm desiring for concern

I don't wish to make people said that i'm d.....
I don't want to look for C
I'm confused with who's my best friend,
all i can do is ,
to find a nearby classmate that i think i could trust and tell them
-------------
Got back Math topical test & for both test papers i've got 9.5 out of 10. COOL ! Finally won SJ, he's so upset man. I was really suprised to hear that i was in one if the top!

I CAN!

bearing w it

2009-09-01T18:31:00.005+08:00

Ridiculous message ,
so what if we are together ?
你有想到我的感受吗？

Class gathering: went there & after they go , Ms Cinthia Tan drove me home :)

2009-09-01T16:43:00.016+08:00

Thanks for cheering me up even though i still can't smile. Wondering why i can't express my REAL emotions out?

Sleep walking - if one day , i sleep walks & uses a knife to kill myself , then i'll be dying in my dreams. How good is that , no pain at all !

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Found out that words could be very useful like: FOCUS.
I'm lacking of that . This year , streaming , i can't waste my time anymore, stop wandering around SIUSUAN! If not i could not get what i want. I had to be straight w her. I don't think i'm in wrong , i'm just trying to help out . Maybe she's thinking that what i've said was hurtful or whatever, i don't give a damn.

I don't want to let people know that i'm feeling   sad and everything. People would be asking ,'Are you okay?' Then i would reply, 'Yes , i'm fine' What's the use of hiding the emotions ? I don't get it. I'm not going to use crying to vent my anger out, there are others methods i have not tried

I felt vexed
& yet i have no idea what am i vexed about. Just feel like crying all the time (like what we usually says 动不动就哭). I don't know how i feel . But still , i have to hide because i don't want to let people know that i'm sad . What's happening in the world ? What am i thinking about ? I don't know whether i'm experiencing good stress or bad stress . Like anytime also can just burst out and...

Ms C. Tan advise me to see the school counselor . She said that i everytime cry for nothing, for no reasons & don't know why ,,it's not a good sign   . I've gotta settle what i need to do:
1) sort out my emotions
2) find out how to control my feelings & emotions
3) understand what i really want and need
4) look for ways to make me FOCUS
5) stop hiding

Keeping ALL thoughts in that bottle it's not going to help me. In my opinion , i think i'm just floating like a balloon . No idea where the hell am i at . LOST!
The one only person who can help me , is me , myself . It's thru' self-motivation. This applies to- if you don't know how to love myself first , you will never know how to love the others. Why is EVERYTHING SO CONFUSING ?!

Someone, please
HELP ME!

Help me make the pain just go away . I'm stuck, confuse & stress! I can't even see myself nor locate .
Where am i ?

Chill SIUSUAN !

2009-08-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

Thanks for the cheerings guys !

Jayson
Mei Cheng
Zi Xuan
Ying Xue
& all

What the hell ?! tomorrow can't go for class outing so fed up. (thinking: what for?!)
haiz haiz haiz
EVERYTHING starts at 31 August 2009 , 12.20pm
ily :)

PS. Don't make me be so stressed up !

Looking for a way out .

2009-08-27T19:48:00.003+08:00

In a dilemma , which route should i take ?
Everything SINGLE thing i've done had left with problems and need to be settled
"As i make my bed , i should lie on it"

Got back another test paper - Literature
Guess what . You might be shocked to hear that i've got for THREE marks for that test paper . Somemore , it's a common test paper ! Oh GOD ! What the hell am i doing ? Have i been studying really hard ? Or i'm just lying to myself that i've done so ?

Please Give Me a Good Life

2009-08-25T21:11:00.013+08:00

I don't know what's wrong with me . Having imaginations of that colour RED. As i've said before , i don't get to understand myself well . No idea why i did this and that . No matter what happens , life is still going on . Getting tired about gossips & threatening & orders... I can't say i'm feeling stress out or whatever crap . What's the meaning of stress ? Aren't they just part of life experiences ? I really glad to hear some positive things around my surroundings . But the thinking is not the same . It's so hard to put on a smile on my face again now. I REALLY wanted to get rid of those words & sentences on my mind . They are not useful to me at all . Neither do they help me. Just then , a thought came to me : Actually , dying isn't difficult

HELP ME
PS. I'm lost in the forest . What can i do ? Look for way out or wait for people to save me or stay there and rather not come out?

having no words to say

2009-08-24T22:20:00.000+08:00

her attitude wasn't same compared from before . I have no idea why she have become like that . Also , heard some feedbacks about

A lot of things to say

2009-08-23T15:52:00.000+08:00

A few days ago , saw the staff tracking board or whatever board in the office . Mr Wang is going for reservist duty *sad face* i'm so going to miss him !
---
done something regretful . It was lucky that another let it off . I shouldn't do that in the first place
---
also realised that actually there's plenty of humans around me concerns
---
to give up the entire forest because of one particular tree ?

after school, ate ice-cream w Jia Hui, Jing Wen & Cherlyn to calm down myself

2009-08-20T22:30:00.001+08:00

Had a fight with him . Having no idea why am i doing this , bad mood ? Or just pissed off ? What the hell is wrong with me ? Keep on giving the wrong attitude towards life & study . Gotta correct myself right :)

Saw Mr V. Wong . He said that he was surprised to hear the our class's netball won 4 rounds . Haha . I told him that during PE lesson we acted , about we didn't know how to play *evil laughs* . Also , saw our chinese teacher 林老师 then C & I asked him to perform a magic trick for us..

2 different persons

2009-08-19T21:11:00.002+08:00

Pulling myself together and think about the life that i wanted it to be
they say she's biased
-
why can't i treat her better ?
**************************************************************
ICG was really great . I did not expect the game to be so good . Almost had a sore throat for cheering and all . I think the rest were like me too (: It's a good start to score in a row of 4 with winning . In my opinon , the height was the problem . I remembered Megan saying , 'I've helped your class to defeat 2e1.' and i smiled back to her .

Jia Hui , 要好起来 hor !

A little thing that makes life great

2009-08-18T18:55:00.001+08:00

Won SJ chinese test.
haha

today PE was like wasting time lor
hoping that tomorrow's NetBall would get in Top 3 again .
& i was so damn piss off today
but i've no idea why i felt like that
starting to not understand myself ?

GCE 'O' Level Music Selection Test

2009-08-15T18:17:00.001+08:00

Strictly speaking , today's performance was the lousiest i've ever had

Early in the morning waited for WH at compass & he was LATE . Went to Catholic High School with WH & found out that he's really tall , when he was standing beside me , i need to lift up my head high to talk to him . LOLS i'm REALLY SHORT . When we reached there , we was late for 10 mins & then we saw O & C , and went up to discuss about the Theory . I'm not really afraid of my second song but first . WH so emotional , standing there alone..

O & i need to take both test while WH take Practical & C only need to take Theory So GOOD ! First was the Theory Test . I don't even understand what is the question asking about . Like 'tonic' ,'ornament' 'dominant' and all. Then i remember my piano teacher saying that this Theory Test is a disadvantage for me . The invigilator says,' You have 15 minutes left' . Then i found out that my last question was not done as i didn't see it .

Finally , the test was over & discussed about the answers with O & C . C didn't complete the paper yet because she didn't see that last question with worth for 17marks . The total paper :35 marks . Wising her all the best (:

Then stayed back for the Practical & saw WH going into the exam room . I wished him goodluck .Then also heard other students from other schools playing the piano . they were great ! The piano was loud isn't ? Soon , it was my turn . I had ALOT of mistakes for the first piece - Bourree . Followed by the next piece , a more confidence one- River Flows In You . Thinking first piece fail while second pass

The exam room's like our classroom with windows panes(anyone could have seen what's in) & with a piano . I thought got aircon leh . Haha . Before i start playing . The two examiners asked about my highest grade . I told her Grade 2 & they showed an expression of shock . After talking , i start my first piece . Hopefully , i didn't tremble much like how i did it in front of Ms Wong . After that song , i relaxed my hands by swinging it & i felt so malu .

When i played the first 2 bars of River Flows In You , alot of people crowded the classroom & i feel more confidence but nervous . When i was stepping on the pedal , my leg tremble , ALOT ! After that , i said thank you to the examiners & went out of the door . Closed it and lean against it with a heaved sigh of relief . Then O was next

I'm worried for tomorrow

2009-08-14T21:14:00.001+08:00

oh ya , wish Wey Han , Olivia & Charmaine. C all the best for tomorrow too :)))))

Yesterday's Memories Will Be Kept In My Heart :)

2009-08-14T17:00:00.002+08:00

Do i looked stressed ?
YX says so .
Things easily made me stir my emotions up
Anyway , i think our class were quite happy with our 3rd in Captains' Ball
Some even tell me that they regretted not coming down & support us yesterday
Haha , i told them to come for the next sports
Must come down & support us !

Tomorrow having the 'O' Leval Music Audition .
Both Practical & Theory
I'm playing 2 songs: River Flows in You & Bourree 1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRXP4g3fP48)
Nice songs !
I'm not afraid of Practical but Theory . wish me GOODLUCK !(:

Picture

2009-08-12T22:39:00.001+08:00

: http://images.plurk.com/3969841_dd590761...
he asked me to upload this ,

BRAVO

2009-08-12T18:46:00.001+08:00

shermaine , lend me your paragraph :D

Suddenly i think that life is so vulnerable . You see ah, things changed , friends leave, but life doesnt stop for anybody . there's this phrase LIVE,LAUGH,LOVE. In order to laugh/love , you need a life to do so .Wondering why are people so foolish to commit suicide just because of stress or cause of one mistake , many others who died of sickness,doesnt wish to end their life so early,but yet why does those healthy and normal person wants to end their life earlier? Life is precious, you are only given 1 life, we're not cats , cats has nine lifes, while we have only 1 , 1 PRECIOUS life , once gone , never will it be back again .You've got to learn to accept the good and bad , up and downs that happens in life , by then you'll know how to cherish life . So , you've got to take the good with the bad , the smile with the sad,love what you have got , and remember always what you had . Always forgive , but never forget , Learn from mistakes but never regret.Live the life you want to live , and not to be control or boss around by others. Be the person you truly wants to be remember as , make decisions , make mistakes. If you fail , at least you tried.Some people commited suicide because of love , but is that worth ?Love is just a fantasy for most , but its true meaning runs deeper than emotions .So never make somebody your everything cause when they're gone you've got nothing left.You dont have to resort to committing suicide, you may turn the despair of being alone into the wonder of being alone with god coz god is mightly :)

i really have nothing to say about this . But this whole chunk would be in my mind , it really helps me a lot .

nothing much

2009-08-12T18:30:00.004+08:00

tired about phone calls of her .
really random enough . Asking a girl's number on the street by a group of guys
today's mood : DAMN HAPPY ! :DDDDDDDD
&& yx , i'm not making you jealous or what , relax :) :D
--
she says he looked smart today . She's making me jealous ... haha
yesterday's maths results had made me taken aback . Seriously , having A LOT OF MISTAKES ! Like what i've expected . My A were gone & hopefully it would come back next term ! *twists*

Things were getting better nowadays , hopefully , tomorrow another ...?

Learning the hard way

2009-08-10T14:36:00.008+08:00

This is what i've wrote to her before & myself- paper diaries :

Dear SiuSuan
You don't have to feel sorry . Remember what Mr. Wang said ? 'Life is a choice , choose to be happy' . Remember that sentence in your heart & lock it in . I know you're now confused and lost . Think of happy thoughts and erase off those saddings. Perhaps you are thinking you can't or think too much . Or maybe you are too sensitive about this particular thing that had just happened . In life , there are many setbacks . You can't escape or leave the thing there neither do you choose to give up - end your life . This matter is just a minor problem . If this is gonna bother you much , how are you going to solve the rest of the problems in the future ? I know you could do it but i've no idea about the reason behind it that causes you can't . Ask yourself . Only you yourself knows the best .

Cheers :)

End with trust & love

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm experiencing growing pains which is normal because emotional anxieties is felt by young people as they grow up:) 'We' are that kind of easily depressed . Repeatedly kept on thinking things that aren't necessary . You say , isn't silly ? I used to listen to peoples' problems & help them solve . Now it's their turns . Why ? I still remember what i've said to her to get back her confidence level up high .

Supposing all those considerations kept in too much & burst . For those who wanted to know why:

1) geinb nosrepriahc si yrev tluciffid

2) pihsdneirf Smelborp

3) seimedaca

4) alumrof dna lla tnew hguorht ym dnim dna edam em t'ndluoc peels ylreporp

5) rednu gnikniht

* sorry had to make the reader suffer :)*

I seriously don't wish to tell you people my predicament, i don't wish to trouble you any further . You have done enough(: which i appreciated:D

___________________________________________________________________

Yesterday , asking whether ALL those were acting of pitiful ? pathetic ? piteous ? I can't differentiate between your good & bad . But initially , why am i EVEN doubting you this way ?

Thanks MrWang & MissTan

2009-08-07T16:54:00.009+08:00

i've got nothing to say now , everything happened in a way i didn't expect;
initially , i've lost my courage but today , i've found it back
***************************************************************************************************
talk with Mr. Wang before the national day celebration
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had a 'tea' with Ms Tan
i did a promise with Ms Tan and hopefully , i won't break it :)

Forgive or Forget ? or None ?

2009-08-06T20:10:00.004+08:00

she said sorry to me , should i forgive & forget or... ?

tired..

2009-08-06T19:01:00.004+08:00

Early morning in the class , i was surprised that almost half of the class were against her . Okay , stop being funny , i shall not elaborate on that .
Yesterday , when they were playing cards , the stupid & extra MR.Z , were somehow disturbing them . Then i kept on 'sour' him . He like so ANGRY ! haha , this is my first time hating someone so much . I don't wanna care about him , he's just acting whereby everybody thought he was really pathetic . He's such a actor !
--
Yesterday and today allowed Kuan wee to be Class ChairPerson . zzz..
The common test results were out for both History & English . I long knew that i wo9uld fail for History . I've got 14/30 . Be unsuccessful by one mark then still need copy the thing three times .

After that , English , i thought that i would just pass or fail but i can't believe that i actuaaly got 20 out of 30 . That was so damn SURPRISING !

As usual, recess , i went to toilet to let out . When i came out , walked towards the staircase railing and lean against . And she came out and talk to me . She asked me why i looked so sad , and i lied to her that i'm sleepy . She also asked ,"people say that you go toilet & cry again. Is that true?"

I can't answer her , and i tried to skip subject . I think she know i tried to avoid
i'm seriously tired of smiling

Violence,..

2009-08-05T19:56:00.003+08:00

a cut on a paper can't see any violence but a cut on skin ,...
was so damn emotional during recess straight away after our free period . Being that , for nothing . Wonders where's my courage & bravely that she admired
--
today's test was like hell . Serious speaking , i did not revise or went through the whole book before the test . Saying that i would strive & do all my best was like crap ! During Science lesson , Fiona & Charlotte was vandalizing my hand :)) after that get a pass from Mr Tai to go to the toilet and wash off those red markings . I stayed in there for almost 45mins , insane ! During the process of washing , first saw Hanisah then Chi Yu; Yanti ;Charlotte; Fiona & Dawna from our class . They were like oh , my god ...

Maths Lesson was memorising those formula , & half way stucked at try it 13 , and attempted to ask Sanjay for help . He also dk . After that , the following questions , he wanted to compete with me , LAME . He kept on saying that i cannot get the answer . I prove him wrong , then he was damn malu . HAHA

CME lesson was asking when was your last care for your friend?

stucked

All About As & Bs

2009-08-04T20:34:00.001+08:00

tomorrow's last paper . i'm gonna strive to do my best.

And now , i'm unable to trust them anymore because A said something to B which is taboo to say . I'm extremely disappointed . In fact , like what i've said is true , soon i would be left nothing no one to speak , no more...

Desserts or Stressed ?

2009-08-04T17:45:00.009+08:00

i felt that I've become weaker , used to know how to control & hold back but now everything seems late & changing, about managing impulsive and all . i seriously hope yesterday was my last time having 'desserts' . I'm not giving any reasons or excuses to myself but because of all this , I've lost my friendship , trusting , believing & everything . I don't know how to find those back . I really need a change . People were saying that I've changed a lot even Mr. Z says that too . I've no idea why . Become v. vulgar , rude , showing attitude & all . Perhaps Mr. Wang is right , I'm too stress . Do the right thing when i think I'm . i could feel that Ms Tan is very worried for me ; due o yesterday's incident . In the morning , after common test she was asking whether I'm okay , because i looked sad . Ya , but that's inside of me , not physical . i was v. impressed . Perhaps i could have talk to her ,like what she asked me to do if I've difficulties

Nowadays . being emotionless for like , almost no reason . i don't know why i cry & all , everything happens for a reason & oneself should know itself well enough ;but for me , I've NO reason to give excuses to myself . If this situation was at back then , I've should have done something (hopefully not slashing) to release myself out . However now , I've nothing . Indeed , I'll soon end up WITH NOTHING

13 out of 20

2009-08-03T20:33:00.006+08:00

yesterday , 2 August , Sunday . Had the performance @ Punggol Plaza . That concert really sucks like HELL ! This is my ever first time playing such a lousy piece.

Today , the class really upsets me . Don't worry , i'm fine :) Nevertheless smiling :D
After the class- during recess , i went to look for Mr. Wang & had a talk . He gave me a chocolate to cheer me up :) [TYVM] then Ms Lee & Ms Tan came by. Ms Lee thought i was disturbing Mr. Wang . In the end , 4 humans having 'tea' together .

During History period , Mr. Syed announce the marks we had for the video recording project . Our group got 13 out of 20 & we are afraid that the next project that is coming up , students would adapt the NG thingys . & Chinese lesson was like LOLS ! The teacher gave us a 5mins break because he had completed his assignment & i was revising a bit of Maths . I was afraid that i can't get what i want . I want an A , seriously . Praying for NO careless mistakes ;]

PS. Specially thanks to Mr. Wang , Ms Lee & Ms Tan :D

Anyway , Happy Birthday YingRui ! (L)

2009-08-01T12:32:00.005+08:00

her attitude towards studying isn't right
---
i would always remember what Mr. Syed said , ' Nicholas , you are good at acting'
this tells me that ALL those acts of pity & pathetic are FAKE !

Videos

2009-07-31T14:37:00.004+08:00

Tired , woke up at around 5am just to continue revise history . i was praying to pass history as well as English . In the morning , i've got no time to revise . the guys were just so ever noisy that made me couldn't concentrate

history lesson damn funny . the first video that was being played was from my group . So funny & as well as malau , the stupid KK say that .... nvm
now i'm in school blogging & had just updated the classblog

saw a lot of other's group video , so cute , Nurliz's group own with Kervyn , he's so pro at acting those bad guys . & Nurliz making the wave thingy
Ying Xue's group - the stupid MR. Z , idw to see his face , like shit man ! RETARDED . one part v. funny , pamela asked , ' is the camera ready ?' then , Jia Yi show a good sign . CUTE ! Then she so ps.

After school , changed the tuition to 3pm . stayed at school looked at Ying Xue they all edit the video . all come for edit , EXCEPT FOR NICHOLAS ! dumb ass .

Talk about him make me wanna puke ._.

PS. FORGET to distribute the sweets given from Mrs Yeo . Must remind me on MONDAY ! TYVM. :))

2009-07-30T21:18:00.002+08:00

History - knowing i would fail . because I've got no confidence , no interest & don't like History .
English - worried , hoping a pass will do :))

$$

2009-07-30T19:21:00.008+08:00

Tomorrow common starts & i had a betting with Sanjay. I can't afford to lose to him because i would be bankrupt :)) i'm surprised that he would LOVE MATHS FOR THE EVER FIRST TIME ! - Sanjay , maths pro ? he kept on saying that i 'm jealous because he get a high grade wile for me , it's just average .
---
Before Literature Remedial , The STUPID Mdm K. come our class & scold us for being very noisy whereby it's not noisy AT ALL ! F*** her , also kept eyeing on our class , trying to dig her eyeballs up if she do that again !

After Literature Remedial , locked up the classroom & going home with JH , JW & CY then on the way to the staircase , MR. Z came up & wanted me to unlock the door urgently , 'walau eh' still need go back & open it with the keys . While CY & JW stay at where we've stopped . Then he was looking for something - when , i have no idea what's that .

Went out of the classroom with NOTHING in his hands & spent our time away just like that . IMBECILE ! Before he rushed down the stairs , he said something to CY & JW ,'you guys really pissed me off!' & guess what ? WE DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING !

After that , locked the classroom , & accompanied JW to the StaffRoom for Ms Tan . On the way , shouted ,'Irritating man , ' & he replied , what did i do . Then i shouted back ,' did i talk to you ?'
& i walked straight the the StaffRoom , i'm MORE PISSED OFF WITH HIM RATHER THAN WHAT HE FELT ! Complained to her about things he had done

PS. I seriously didn't know why i have to do this . Hating someone like that , it's just wasting my lifetime ! i could have done something more applicable than this

2009-07-29T18:59:00.003+08:00

today had finally completed those video recordings ,
we had the shooting scene with SJ , ZY & WH inside . they were doing those guns & whatever in slow motion . COOL ! but i bet the other groups would be much more better then ours . our group like doing the project for the sake of it

oh ya , after CME period , school ends & we are required to put back our files in the metal cupboard then i saw the PERSON doing , i say ,' so pathetic , nobody help you ?'

then he angry liao . LOLS ! he got menses isn't ? so easily tempered , PS , don't get angry ,
after that , he keep on venting his anger on the metal cupboard as if he wanted the school property to be damaged
*tsk tsk*

Am i controlling your life ? or you , rather , controlling my life ?

2009-07-28T19:52:00.007+08:00

today got the stupid idiot science test , i didn't even studied anything . heck care lor . the stupid MR FROG - spoilt the frog's reputation !

after school , stayed back for the history project thingy , the Wey Han & Sanjay's part sb funny . laugh until like mad . keep on 'CUT' & 'ACTION' . HAHA *laughs* if i'm not wrong , got NG at least 7 times & for the bombing parts , was like , wasting the plastic bags lor- also need NG ! Oh , my Sweet dear GOD (the storybk) !

2009-07-25T21:02:00.003+08:00

replied all tags . tell me if i've missed out yours

i'm down with sore throat & flu today . thinking why - nicholas ,
yesterday , had a fought with him . keep on acting like mad f***

2009-07-21T21:02:00.003+08:00

I've finally begin to trust her but she said something that is not suppose to say . And now , i've decide not to trust her anymore...

This week , have the SL exchange programme . Chi Yu & Hanisah went to other school & 2 of the students came to our class too . One of them is Wei Jie , another , don't know how to spell . i was really shocked when i found out that his coming to my class . It's like OMG ! In my opinion , i think he felt uncomfortable because the guys were really out of the handle !

And today , he fell down . To me , i think he had an "crazy" impression towards our class . Thinking whether is he okay . LOLS !
---
Yesterday's & today's history single period lesson , my group had finally discussed something about it . I have no confidence that we could hand up the project in time . Zhen Yu , Wey Han & Sanjay , they were talking among themselves & now , Wey Han still could complain that we have not really done anything . We are far behind the other groups . The 3 boys , made Dawna & Cherlyn very pc . Then Zhen Yu asked me whether they've menses . Pervert ley he :x

blog dying

2009-07-19T12:34:00.003+08:00

will reply tags next time when i date with my computer again :DD
class blog being scolded, lols !
now doing the music thingy with Cherlyn
& posting homeworks & notices on class blog
also at facebook & plurk !

i've nothing to post seriously ,
i'm posting here just for updateing ...
-.-lll

i love Cherlyn

2009-07-09T18:57:00.000+08:00

school was great expect for D & T
dead boring
after school , Jia Hui & i went to carry the Guzheng to the infocom room while i left the classroom for those 2 to do their duty . Then , we return to the class again . Found out that Derrick left & now with , Nicholas , Ying Xue & Dawna

i'm going back with Jia Hui , take bus 85
then we also going to eat ice-cream but the Nicholas keep on doing the duty
after that , we went out of school , no more ice cream man already
sad... all blame to nicholas lim

next , we then take bus 85 , saw Wey Han , Zhen Yu & baby so cute :)

Cherlyn , get well soon :DD

2009-07-08T20:42:00.003+08:00

now i'm doing the new sitting arrangement thingy
-.-
i don't like the new arrangement that SHE decided , make the whole class more noisy
then come & say i didn't take good care of the class
---
today was fun during English , Science , & CME lesson .
Oh ya , i've finally decided to take up Music O Level
that was a hard choice & found out that Olivia is joining me too :DDD
cool , i've found myself a friend :)

now ,,looking for a buddy for the orchestra SL project Learn an Instrument

happy that my subject is near me
sad that she's near it
when is the test going to be ?

coolie

2009-07-06T14:13:00.003+08:00

Long time never post le .
Ying Xue is GREAT
She's so SMART
She's KIND HEARTED
She's a GREAT FRIEND

LOL , so lame
I'm on phone with her
Don't let her know hor
Thank You Very Much ,Bloggers
LOLS , i think i'm being a bit lame or alot lame

So sian , today no school . i was hoping for one .
'cause that's my source of happiness :D
looking forward to tomorrow's school :D
bujianbusan ,oh ?

2009-06-24T11:45:00.001+08:00

Mr Wang ,
i'm into it , i won't give up for that SUBJECT !

2009-06-22T20:59:00.000+08:00

and i've learnt to let you go because even if i held on tight to you , you'll never return the same feelings back . but is simple attachment , is just like a spell . i can't bear to let you go . but i know , it'll hurt if i don't let you go now

i really think that other people may need the chance more than me .
i could have be waiting more or longer .

she's here for you now , you better cherish

Drink MILK !

2009-06-17T16:47:00.007+08:00

it has been a long time since i ever post !
---
if we meant to be together , we are together ;
if we aren't together , we aren't
you put my hopes up and let them down . I WILL drink plenty of milk to balance my it because it's a perfect balance for highs and lows :)

the holidays are getting long
i'm expected to make use of the school holidays , to revise my Mathematics & guarantee that i could get an A1 at the end of the year and be at least the top 10 . Last year , i've got 12th . That's not easy . It comes along with effort

saw one advertisement that sounded interesting: soap+water , germs have no hope
--
seriously , our communication ended with that message

2009-06-02T19:31:00.003+08:00

HOLIDAYS ARE BORING !

early in the morning . hate myself for being not able to wake up early :(
tomorrow got orchestra practice , Jing Wen inform us not to bring handphones to school , don't know why

bore

held his hands when i feared i would flunk my overall

2009-05-28T20:49:00.003+08:00

Today collected result slip
Ms Lee says i could have done a lot better . But at least i have improve compared to last term . But she thinks that i could score higher . So , all those scores that were 60+ , she wants me to aim for A1 . siao ?

1st column & 3rd column: no underline
2nd column: English , Chinese & Maths

Therefore now i know my languages are really weak . I need to buck up during the holidays . Mmm , quite disappointed with my Maths results . All along , i always knew i could done better , score high marks . So , maybe after all those acting proud , i went too much confidence for myself . & putting myself in the danger & not study